2/20/2023 0 Comments Spark people![]() "When we got down by three, I felt like we lost our energy," Benton told reporters on Monday. Trailing 17-14 going into the fourth quarter and attempting a game-tying field goal, Benton didn't see the usual spark on his sideline. ![]() It's not just that Wisconsin (1-1) fell as 17-point favorites at home, but the senior nose tackle sensed a lack of fight from his team. Keeanu Benton was not a happy camper during Saturday's stunning 17-14 loss to Washington State (2-0). ![]() The one that worked? "Smoking is no longer seen as sexy.MADISON, Wis. I had a client who was a smoker and I said, “People stop smoking for a reason that really resonates with them." Then I ticked off a number of possible reasons. Every once in a while, a counselor’s kindly or tough-minded suggestion can provide the spark. Knowing that smoking causes wrinkling (the least of its liabilities), that made her quit cold turkey. A 55-year-old smoker was walking down her street when a neighbor said, “It’s good that you’re staying active.” That implied that the neighbor viewed her as old. “I’ll show ‘em.” The psychology literature urges praise over criticism, yet the spark for many of my suddenly improving clients was a criticism, for example, a boss, spouse, or parent who said, "I don't think you're smart enough to do that." Sometimes the criticism is subtler.Also helpful was her enrolling in SmartRecovery, a cognitive-behavior- therapy-oriented alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous. Disgusted with herself (“I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired”), she hasn’t had a drink since. With Thanksgiving coming up, I’m reminded of a client who was a heavy drinker and who made a fool of herself, including vomiting, at last year’s family Thanksgiving dinner. As a result, he’s going out to eat less often. One day, it somehow popped into his head that the hike had to be its own reward. For example, an overweight client after each daily exercise session would take himself out for a big meal as a reward. Often a person thinks and thinks to try to come up with a rationale that motivates changing the undesired behavior, and sometimes, he or she finally comes up with one. They also try to quell the fear that they’re a loser, and make the big change they've been procrastinating, for example, having a good work ethic. When that sparks a major improvement, the client typically tries to believe the job loss was for the best and prove that hypothesis. Or, if the deceased is near our age, the death may motivate us to be more hedonistic: Life’s short eat dessert first. A death makes us aware that we too are on life’s all-too-short conveyor belt and perhaps that it’s time to grow up, for example, to start a real career. ![]() Or later, the mother stops, knowing that if the child sees her smoking, drinking, or doing drugs, the child is more likely to. After getting pregnant, many women have stopped smoking or using drugs when they previously felt they couldn’t they couldn't bear to think they'd be damaging their baby. Additionally, you want to make a good impression on your special someone. Infatuation can make everything seem more doable. I ask clients who have made major changes, “What made it happen?” The most common response is that they don’t know for example, “It just suddenly felt doable.” My hypothesis is that some thought or occurrence was the straw that broke the camel's back, perhaps a subconscious accretion of multiple thoughts, events, and other factors.
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